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Why do I keep walking back into the Lion's den?

That's a simple question that requires a complicated answer.

For a more complete profile of my testimony,

click the link over the title below

and read the excerpts from a letter written to a preacher friend entitled 

"Where I Thought I'd Be"

NOTE: Any time I share these vignettes of our "walk through the valley of the shadow of death" it's not to cry over what was done to us; I've already cried my soul clean over all that. I share it to glorify our Lord Jesus Christ by showing what He brought us through with victory; to encourage others who are in that valley to trust Him to get them through it with victory; to show what an evil enemy we face; and to show how readily some church folks yield their members to our enemy, causing their hearts to wax cold toward hurting brethren, just as Jesus prophesied professing Christians would do at the end. Our experience is a proverbial "street sign" to show where too much of the church in America is today in this unfolding end time prophecy.

In a Nutshell this is Why I do it

First, an amusing observation. Every time I run into some old friend I haven't seen for a long time, their first utterance has become predictable. The first thing they ask is some varying form of “...what cha been a doin'....For decades, my answer has always included my trying to kick-start another ministry endeavor. They typically ask something like, "...are you still trying to do that?" (“still tryingmeaning, after the past nearly 45 years – “do thatmeaning, ministry). Then they give me this vacant stare like I'm wearing a foil helmet and I just landed from Mars or something. Their facial expressions scream "...are you just a glutton for punishment...after forty some odd years the only thing your ministry efforts have ever produced is pain, poverty, and's as if you keep walking right back into a lion's den...why do you do that?"

I have no defensive argument. By all appearance their facial expressions are correct. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that keeping on answering the call to ministry are among the worst decisions I've ever made. At times I wonder what I might have accomplished had I stuck solely with developing my music career; or if I'd continued building the successful business I abandoned to launch into full time ministry.

All I can say is serving the Lord in ministry is like an addiction with me. No matter how hard, how painful, or what the consequences, I just can't seem to shake it.

Tent Ministry

All my life I've been different. I don't try to be different, sometimes I just see things from a different perspective. Often God has led me to do things in an illogical and unorthodox way. He did that with most of the people He anointed throughout history. And I've dared to obey. Human nature is to view anything abnormal and unconventional as wrong. A vast majority in first century Israel espoused such a view about our Lord Jesus. He was in fact different, and history has proven which side was right, and which was wrong.

For instance, for most of my ministry life I've felt called to the "Tent Ministry”. As a little boy I was saved in a tent meeting. It was one of the last tent meetings ever held by evangelist Jack Coe. Over the years, the Lord led me to work with a few tent preachers when they came to town. I did everything from driving stakes, to setting up chairs, and I always sat on the platform with the othe supporting ministers. Whether Schambach, Epley, or any of the others, I was willing to lend a hand, to learn the ropes.

Yet throughout the 1970s and '80s, EVERYONE slammed my dreams of the "Tent Ministry" They'd tell me it was antiquated, no longer practical, never gonna happen, etc (I believe what's not practical is not doing what God puts in your heart to do).

So in 1980, we drove from Miami all the way to Warner Robbins, Georgia to a military surplus auction, just to bid on a couple of Command Post Tents. That was to be my seed for the tent ministry. But the old canvas tents were too worn out for ministry use. On the way home, we drove to Valdosta. We met with Gordon Shaw at Valdosta Tent Company, to inquire about buying a used canvas tent. Over the years, several times I called David Wine, to see if he had any used vinyl tents for sale. I was determined not to allow myself to be sentenced to the confinement of the unbelief of my critics.

Today, considering my age and other issues, the natural man would conclude my pursuit of the Tent Ministry was an utter failure. But like old Caleb, I still stand ready to rise up and take that mountain, any time God gives me the green light.

Radio and Television

Since the early 1970s, I dreamed of being on WRHC in Miami, WSWN in Belle Glade, and WEXY in Oakland Park. All were gospel radio stations in south Florida in the 1970s. Those were some of my earliest ministry goals.

Before I could go on WRHC they switched to a Spanish format. WSWN had a powerful signal, but that meant a waiting list and expensive time slots. So I plugged into WEXY. They were a small market, but time was an affordable price. And they believed in my gift and calling, and they didn't mind working with me. In fact, they would allow me to book time, teach a series, and when I had sufficiently run up my tab, they'd cut me off. Then I'd work construction jobs to pay the bill off, then begin the cycle all over again, and again. In reflection, it seems every penny I could scrape together would be spent on some ministry puruit, except for a meager fare to support a very marginal existence. WEXY and I enjoyed a good relationship that lasted the duration of my time in Florida.

In the mid-1970s, Lester Sumrall purchased channel 45 TV (45). 45 had originally been owned by some businessmen that I knew. The people who bought it from the businessmen began the original christian format under different call letters, I think maybe WFCB or something like that. It was over forty years ago, so memory is a little sketchy on that. But 45 was less than a mile from where I lived. I even knew Mr. Kearns, Sr. and his family who owned the big Meekins rock quarry next door to 45. Wow, the sudden flood of memories.

I helped Brother Sumrall and his son Steve with everything from the earliest fund raising, to music, to sharing my testimony. I watched 45 grow from a small room that looked like an old abandoned auto repair shop, to a huge state of the art production and broadcast facility.

The last time I appeared on channel 45, was just before the TBN acquisition. Brother Sumrall was there and he showed us the new chapel (then recently completed) and all the new studios. He was so proud of it all, but especially the chapel. With a face beaming with joy, he told us he could now broadcast live services there. Lester Sumrall was a true ministry visionary. He did an impressive job and brought life to that once dilapidated station. His expression of gratitude to all of us who had stood with him since those early days was palpable.

I never got to appear on TBN, it always fell through. I did help with the still photography at Miami for Jesus (held around 1980) at the Miami Stadium, hosted by TBN. I'm probably in some of the behind the scenes film footage helping my buddy shoot stills of everyone and everything.

Also, Bill Register, an AOG pastor also built a small transmitter with a gospel format in the late 1970s. I appeared on his programming regularly. One night I gave nearly an hour's worth of my testimony. When the switchboard lit up, we began discussing my doing a my own program there. Since I was sixteen years old, it seemed everyone was always saying I had the voice and personality for being a talk show host. Early pioneers in country radio like Happy Harold Thaxton, Uncle Harve Spivey, Johnny Norris, and countless other Miami country jocks told me as much. Even an old school buddy who was a top jock at WSHE, an FM Progressive Rock station in Ft. Lauderdale, said as much. I was visiting him while he was on air one day, and he told me I really should consider a career in broadcasting; that not doing so would be, "a waste of a good voice" (his words).

The last time I appeared on Bill Register's station, I did a few songs, discussed some bible subject matter, and with my fiancee in the studio to everyone's surprise, I announced our wedding plans.

Then I got married. When I finally came back up for air again, Bill's broadcasting company had shut down due to under-funding issues.

Regarding so-called

Christian Television

One Essential Point I must Interject Here!

When we were poisoned in our home over twenty years ago, as many of you know we lost our house, virtually all our possessions, and we were left homeless. 

Within a couple of weeks we were forgotten and abandoned by most of our church friends, except for maybe four or five brethren. 

I was my wife's sole care giver 24/7, for over four years. We were nearly a thousand miles from our nearest relatives, and again, left with less than half a dozen remaining faithful friends. 

The worst of our tribulation lasted seven years. It was a long lonely haul. 

But praise God He got us through it!

When we finally came up for air on the other end of it all, I realized some very important truths. 

  • Had it not been for TBN
we would have had no church.

  • Had it not been for Charles Carrin Ministries, Kenneth Copeland Ministries, the 700 Club, Rhema Bible Training Center, Oral Roberts University, Charles Capps Ministries, and Jerry Savelle Ministries,
we would have had no prayer.  

  • Had it not been for audio cassettes and video teaching aids, 
 we would have had no spiritual food.  

Think about that when you give!

But I digress....

By the time we moved to Tennessee, a programming spot had already opened for me at WLAC, a super power clear channel AM station. The owner back then was a guy named Woody Sudbrink. He had poured a ton of money into making WLAC the best radio facility I had ever seen, bar none. At night when the atmosphere cooled and came closer to earth, the AM signal broadened; then WLAC covered most of the United States, parts of Canada, and reached parts of Mexico and the Caribbean. Now I had my own little weekly talk show.

About a decade after we moved to Hendersonville, Conway Twitty passed away. Soon afterwards, TBN acquired his entire complex, Twitty City, Music Village, and all the residences. Now once again, TBN was less than a mile from my front door. I wondered, "Lord are you doing something here that I should get involved in?"

Back then while I was still signed as a staff songwriter at Warner Brothers Music. So I wrote enough songs to fill half a gospel album. I described the genre as "Brooks & Dunn Gospel" (B&D). Each song had a direct, blunt, and piercing gospel message set to a musical style similar to what B&D were doing then. Jan Crouch heard the demo and entertained the idea of doing the album on their label TBN Records. She dispatched a message to me to "over-night" my press kit and a few photos to her secretary. But the Lord had a time of testing and purging in store for us. So the timing for an album was not right; that is to say, "not yet!"

But anyone who reviews all the other articles in the Supernatural Signs and Experiences panel above, will see that it "IS" time now. Especially when you read the "Twenty Year Cycle" article. This is why I have set up accounts with Amazon, Paypal, and Google Ads; and plan to set up with iTunes as funds permit.

I am not sitting around watching the devil smirk! I'm preparing to ascend to Mount Carmel, to answer phase two of the prophecy that began with the "Hands of Fire" sign. But I digress.

Not Deterred

Since my ordination in the early 1970s, I have never been deterred by the unbelief of others. But over the years, being absolute about what I've believed with immovable faith; was often mis-interpreted as arrogance.

And having the courage to stand up and be different when it was right to be different, and remaining steadfast against all opposition; that was often mis-interpreted as stubbornness and rebellion.

And any demonstration of passion for nearly anything, was almost always interpreted as my being angry and harboring unforgiveness. But just as all hens are chickens, but all chickens are not hens; it is also a fact that all anger is passion, but not all passion is anger.

Most of the aforementioned misjudgments and criticisms came from the immature who thought they were spiritual giants; and from the grossly scripturally illiterate who thought they were biblical scholars.

The Video Production Facility

Now jump forward thirty-some years. In late 2009, I felt the Lord reveal that He wanted me to plan to build a video production studio on the back of my property. Let me say here that I don't sling the phrase around "the Lord told me this or that...." When I say He spoke to me, it is backed with the track record described in the article in the above panel entitle "The Prophetic". I don't speak or write these things lightly. 

I felt He told me this video facility would help us in ministry, as well as other small local ministries to create quality videos for DVD, YouTube, and other ministry uses. Soon ...night cometh when no man can work.... Prerecorded video and audio will preach long after we've been silenced, and reach deep into places we will no longer be permitted to go. Such a facility might make that video production service affordable to some who are competent to rightly divide the word of truth.

The Lord directed me to write a particular televangelist about this. I was to tell him that the Lord directed me to do this; explain my vision; and ask him to pray about donating from his inventory of used or obsolete equipment, as seed to help us get it started. I was to tell him I had a local pastor in town with a great deal of experience in video production, ready to assist us. 

Well, I had worked with nationally known ministries, and I knew how to get it directly to him. So I wrote the televangelist, sent it in a way I knew he'd receive it; and he did receive it.

But eight years later, I still haven't heard any response from that televangelist. Is he still praying about it? Did he dismissed me as another flake who thinks he hears voices from God? Did he check me out and receive an evil report from one of my critics around here? Did he check the Secretary of State and have trouble finding us there? Did he think we are not a legitimate ministry? I don't know. Had he listened to the Holy Spirit, he would have heard the same thing I heard. As it is rwitten, "God is not the author of confusion..."

As far as the still praying theory, after eight years I doubt that it ever crosses his mind anymore.

My knowing God's voice or being a flake, as stated click here The Prophetic”, or click "The Prophetic" button in the Supernatural Signs and Experiences” panel at the top of this page; and then judge for yourself. Those are some of my credentials on the subject of my hearing and knowing God's voice.

As far as evil reports, see some of my teachings on the sins of the tongue, "Reviling God's Anointed", etc. See what God allowed to come upon so many of my critics; and watch what happens to the rest of them. It's not my prayer, it's His promise.

As far as ministry legitimacy; the scriptural and early church measure of a ministry's legitimacy is: consecration, the anointing of the Holy Spirit, the rightly dividing of the word of truth, and most of all God's supernatural vindication. Those are the four pillars upon which a legitimate ministry will always be built, and that is the biblical criteria.

As far as any non-response, God will be the judge.

Had I been doing this in the flesh, I would have followed my business philosophy. I would have garned the contact information of every televangelist and mega-church pastor I could find who had every used a video camera, and then launched a mass campaign to everyone with a well crafted appeal. I have worked enough behind the scenes with the big guys, to know how this operates on the business side of televangelism. But I was not following their model, I was following the Lord's directive. The Lord told me to contact this brother, told me what to say, so I did. He never told me to contact anyone else, so I never not. It was not until six years later, that I even mentioned any of it to anyone other than my wife.

Let me be clear, I believe this brother is a wonderful man of God, zealously engaged in the Lord's work, and he's my brother in Christ. I DON'T believe he did unto me what he would want others to do unto him, considering the gravity of the matter. I believe he would've at least wanted others to respond to him. But I'm just the errand boy. This is between him and the Lord.

My point of even bringing this up is that WE MUST NOT hold offense in cases like these. The Lord allows these encounters to occur to show those in the material/physical world, and to show those in the unseen world what each party is made of, and what's in their hearts.

The devil will always try to use these encounters to entrap us. He can't whip us when we walk in the power of the Spirit. So he tries to get us to walk in the flesh. Because in our own strength, he can whip us with one hand tied behind his back. But in Jesus Christ, he he's already defeated.

This brother has not deterred or discouraged my faith. Securing that equipment is not my responsibility. I did my part, and now I wait on the Lord. I stand ready to launch that facility as soon a God answers. But God doesn't need my help to do His job of equipment procurement.

And my announcement to the power of darkness is this, I love that brother just as much as if he had completely outfitted us with brand new equipment. Because he is my brother in Jesus Christ!

The One Thing I don't Regret

It's true, thus far all ministry efforts for me have been one lion's den after another. But I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. While I may have moments when I regret being called to ministry, and regret answering. And there may be times when I even regret being born. But I have never for a fraction of a second regretted personally following the Lord Jesus Christ. My only regret there is, that I didn't follow Him faithfully since the day I was born. I hope I'll always be willing to follow Him where ever He leads me; even if it's into another lion's den.


The following are a few excerpts from my curriculum vitae, and my journey to achieving an earned doctorate in "Biblical Forgiveness". My answer to God's call to ministry truly has been one unbelievable lion's den after another.

So why do I keep doing it? Well go grab ya' some Pepto Bismal, get cha' a good seat, grit cha' teeth, and hold on real tight!

First some Ecclesiastical Pest Control

To the carnal mind, the following may look like a huge hamper full of dirty diapers. But it's not! It has an end that glorifies Jesus Christ. The spiritually discerning will see that my life is a living warning sign from God. It shows pictorially the condition of the Church in America; and the hordes of judgment just over the horizon, that are already en route to visit her.

I rewrote this article several times, and have the drafts to prove it. Knowing how critics operate, I tried leaving out everything negative, but God checked me. These accounts are a mere fraction of what we've endured. They're certainly not the most caustic or painful incidents in our history. They are the minimum the Lord would allow me to publish.

The burden of a prophet can be heavy. We bear an enhanced responsibly to God for everything we say, and for everything we fail to say.

I'm not one who believes in airing dirty church laundry, except in extreme circumstances. This is the first time I've shared these things publicly like this. I hope it's the last time I need to do so.

I've been painted into a corner. For thirty-plus-years critics have chipped away at the integrity of my reputation. Since the early 1980s, the Lord placed boundaries, severely restricting my publicly defending myself. All this has taken a toll on my ability to minister here. Human nature is, when someone stands accused and does not rebut, the accusations are presumed to be true. Think about it, what pops into your mind when you hear a defendant repeatedly plead the Fifth Amendment?

But God knows I have done my best to follow the Jesus model for responding to my accusers; "...He opened not His mouth...." That scriptural context is so pregnant with meaning I must fight the temptation to go off on a tangent and exposit here.

In order for me to even have a ministry here, it seems I can no longer remain completely silent. I must stand and defend. I can't give the appearance of “pleading the fifth” against my critics' accusations.

However, it's difficult to defend when your critics strike in stealth and hide like roaches inside the church walls. So I have administered in the regions beyond my version of what I call "Ecclesiastical Pest Control".

Having stated all that, why do I keep coming back for more? Stay tuned!

Consider the following fact pattern

Imagine for moment, you and your spouse have both been poisoned. You lost your home and virtually everything you've acquired in life due to contamination. Over the next 17-months your spouse will require 15 trips to the hospital emergency room. Your spouse becomes bedridden and in very fragile condition, and will be so for several years. 

You're a thousand miles from family, and there's no one else to help. So you are their sole caregiver 24/7. They are in such helpless fragile condition you must do everything one would do to care for a baby, and more. They cannot even get into or out of bed without help. 

Since they had recently experienced episodes of syncope (loss of consciousness) they cannot be left alone. So you must abandon your successful music career and ministry aspirations to care for them. That means you cannot work, attend church, or anything that requires leaving them for more than a half-hour to an hour at a time, maximum. 

After a few months of around the clock care, and sleep coming in two hour increments, you become exhausted. Physicians had warned you that without help, the sole care-giver always eventually burns out. So you cry out for help to the same church folks who used to tell you both how much they loved you. But malignant gossip, spread over several decades, had caused nearly everyone to turn a deaf ear to your cry. 

Behind your back, they'd say to each other that you should be out working, and you should be in church. Had they helped just by sitting with your spouse, you would’ve done both. 

With such brazen cavalier, they break virtually every commandment principle in scripture regarding helping the poor, the sick, and those in need. They ultimately judge you unworthy of their help. And worse, they influence others from helping. 

Then to top it all off, you MUST forgive them ALL for EVERYTHING! 


But wait, there's more! No, this is not an infomercial. There really is more; vastly more than time or space would permit me to share. When all this began, they had already been doing this for more than a dozen years, with few exceptions.

Honestly, there is so much more I could tell. If I were an unbeliever and I witnessed someone treating another human being the way some church folks have treated me, and they claimed to be a Christian, I wouldn’t believe them; nor would I want to become a Christian, if it meant becoming like them. 

I wonder how many of my critics could endure thirty some years of what has been meted out to us? How many would still want to serve in ministry to the same community who had done this to them? I wonder how many of them would even want to go to church anymore?

Yet I still have a burden in my heart to minister here. I keep coming back for more. Why? Because I'm doing it for the One who gave me that burden; the One who called me, sent me, and vindicated me with His supernatural signs. To verify these supernatural signs click here Unusual Signs” or the “Unusual Signs” button at the top of this page. Then go through all of them and judge for yourself.

The World Title Holder

Let me say here that there were a few wonderful exceptions within the church. There were the aforementioned prayer support from Copeland, Rhema, Happy Caldwell's church, ORU, Charles Carrin, Derek Prince, and other out-of-state ministries. Having them hold us in prayer is a whole separate testimony in and of itself. The miraculous victories were staggering! Our friends in ministry in Boyton Beach, Florida stood by us like pillars through the worst of it. But of the multitude of people around here who knew us, and knew of our intense suffering and dire condition, only a very few people helped very much at all. Occasionally, the Lord would allow someone to cross our path, and help us for a week or two. And each time we were gratefully refreshed beyond words. But our need was so great that those few souls quickly became overwhelmed and exhausted. Because it was too much for two or three people to bear. So I bore it, mostly alone.

The Bottom Line:

NO ONE did unto us as they would have others do unto them; 

NO ONE loved us as Christ loved the church; 

NO ONE loved us (neighbors) as they loved themselves; 

NO ONE would have ever treated their spouse, their kids, or their parents the way they treated us; and

NO ONE would dare agree with me in prayer that they reap a rich harvest from many of  the seeds they have sown in response to our cries for help during that crises. If any of them would, let them come to me and I will haply pray a prayer of agreement that "they so reap abundantly, forthwith!" Don't get me wrong, I don't desire to pray evil on anyone. But I will not have this true testimony dipsuted without consequence.

I cried out to the Lord about it, telling Him they would never do their families that way. If ever I've heard Him answer, He said to me “...they so responded because they don't think of you as their real family; but I do....and He concluded with “...every time they did this unto you (one of the least of these my brethren) they did it unto Me....And we know the destination of the group cited in that passage of scripture. But He also assured me that "...because they turned a deaf ear to your cry when you were poor and destitute, the time will come when they will cry out repeatedly for deliverance, and I will hear their cry, I will not listen...." That is a frightening "Rhema", but I believe it is from the Lord.

NOTE: As state, if anyone doubts whether I know the voice of God, click here Prophetic” or click the Unusual Signs” button at the top of this page, and then click the “Prophetic” button.

Growing up in Miami, being involved in the music scene there since the early 1960s, and being involved in ministry since the early 1970s, I've witnessed a lot of evil acts carried out by evil people. The music scene was smothered in drugs. Most of my ministry work back then involved street ministry.

I've personally known several drug smugglers who served time for doing that.

I've personally known junkies strung out on heroin, who in desperation committed appalling acts against people they loved, just to get a fix.

In the 1960s, I personally knew people who served time for being involved in organized crime.

I've played in the roughest bars, places we called “knife and pistol joints” where I had to pray my way out sometimes just to get out alive. Before I turned eighteen, I was held at gunpoint on three different occasions.

I've been “Black Listed” on Music Row in Nashville. I've had the career I dreamed of since I was a pre-schooler destroyed without cause or justification. My wife and I endured years of hardness paying our dues, worked hard for what we accomplished, and it was something my parents sacrificed greatly to facilitate, all my life. Music was to be our “Tent Making to support our ministry endeavors. But it was all destroyed without just cause, by evil cold-hearted people controlled and driven by a spirit that hates the Holky Spirit in me.

I've been betrayed by people I loved and trusted.

I've been falsely accused of acts I wouldn't dream of committing.

And as a little four year old boy I was repeatedly sexually assaulted for about a year or more.

When I began a time of bed-wetting, my mother didn't know the trauma I had experienced. She would whip me with a belt everytime I wet my bed. With each strike of the belt she would yell things like "'re just too damn lazy to get up and go to the bathroom...I won't stand for a child of mine to grow up to be lazy...." 

Let me be clear, I love my mother and miss her every day. She was a real cola miner's daughter, ws married abut six weeks after she turned fifteen; and I was born exactl four weeks after she turned sixteen. She was a child having a child. Not much was known about the effects of sexual molestation back then. But to a four year old, that left a lot of scars. But severa decades later, God fially healed them and I could talk about them without pain or anger. Only God could do that!

When we were poisoned, just like victims of storms, fires, and earthquakes, I watched everything we had acquired in life get piled up by the roadside, stacked five feet high stretching the width of our yard, awaiting trash pickup. That is a scene beyond description. We lost virtually everything due to contamination.

We postponed having children so we could devote ourselve wholly to serving God in ministry. We planned to have children once our ministry was adequately funded, staffed, and established. When we began considering family planning, we were poisoned. The absolute absence of compassion by the church here resulted in an almost total block of desperately needed help and aid. That made our recovery vastly slower and longer. By the time we were sufficiently recovered, the biological clock for family planning had tolled. Now, short of an Abrahamic Miracle, the dream of bearing children has been stripped away from us.

So I am well acquainted with emotional hurt, physical pain, harship, being charged falsely, character assassination, dreams unjustly destroyed, total material loss, enormous life set backs, even being stripped of the dream of someday having children. I am intimately familiar with all that.

But with all the aforementioned painful experiences, nothing in my life has been more painful than the way some church folks have treated us here; especially since we were poisoned. I would never have dreamed people claiming to be filled with the Holy Spirit could be so cold and heartless in their words, actions, and excessive inactions. The church folks here currently hold the "world title" of my greatest inflicters of pain in my entire life.

Yet, and for all that I still keep coming back, and I still have a heart to minister here. This is my calling. God sent me here. For now, this is my bailiwick. What might have happened if Elijah, Moses, Joshua, Paul, Peter, or John had forsaken their respective posts of duty? I may not rise to their level of importance in the eyes of church folks around here, but the One who sent me here in this age, is the same One who sent each of them back in their respective ages.

So I forgive my brethren, and I'm gonna love them regardless of how they treat me. It's not easy; but dying on that cross wasn't easy for Jesus either. But He did that for me!

However, forgiveness does not rewrite history. Only politicians get away with rewriting history. Neither does forgiveness require the aggrieved to actually forget their painful past, as if it never happened. Nor does it impose upon the wounded to ignore the pain of a wound that keeps being re-opened by careless words and deeds. That kind of forgetting is a medical condition classified as "dementia". It is not necessarily unforgiveness for one to review, rehearse, or even bear witness to their painful past. There are a lot of erroneous and false teachings going around regarding the doctrine of forgiveness. We will address those, as the Lord leads.

Servant not above his Master

When I cried out to the Lord for strength in dealing with these things, He reminded me that a servant is not above his Master. What the religious elite did to Him, they will surely do to me. Then He reminded me of how He was treated when the Holy Spirit led Him to Nazareth. He showed me that He didn't miss our Father's will going to Nazareth. "THEY" chose to reject Him and His ministry. He assured me that I didn't miss my Father's will coming to Hendersonville. "SHE" has chosen to reject me and become my Nazareth! He assured me that if "SHE" does not repent soon, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment, than for this city. I imagine some around here will get a laugh out of reading that statement. I can just hear some of them laughing and saying somehtin like "who does he think he is?" Rest assured, those who are in such a depraved spiritual condition that the forgoing would provoke them to laugh, here and now; they won't be laughing when they face their judgment. I've been over there, and I know what it's like in His manifested presence. No one will be laughing when they get there.

The Lord showed me how Hendersonville had chosen to become my Nazareth, because she left her first love. She doesn't even know what that means. "SHE" has become my Nazareth.

Shake the Dust Off

More than once I've been asked, "why don't you shake the dust off your feet in protest against them, and just leave?" Because He sent me here, and He has never told me to leave! Any serious bible student should know why the "shake the dust off" directive has absolutely no application to situations like this. If He sends you to do something, you "...endure hardness as a good soldier....", you don't quit! You stop because you finished, or because He told you to stop, or because He closed the door and led you somewhere else. Hardness is not a closed door. If early Christians had quit when it got hard, I wouldn't know Jesus Christ today. What if Jesus had quit when it got hard?

Dried up the Brook

A few years ago, one brother told me it should be obvious what I needed to do; since God had dried up the brook for me here. I went before the Lord with that, and He told me different. He exposed that brother's heart, and showed me that he just didn't want to be bothered with us anymore. That was the root cause and motivation of his statement. IT WAS NOT A REVELATION FROM ON HIGH! Rather, it was a polite way of saying, "please go away!"  At least he was trying to be polite about it. But it was in no way a Word from the Lord. Further, that brother showed his ignorance regarding Elijah's cave-brook-raven experience. He was ignorant of the purpose of each, and specifically what "the brook" represents to believers today. If the Lord leads, I'll exposit those scriptures someday. And all these years later, God still has not dried up the brook for us in Hendersonville. That brother proved his scriptural ignorance, and exposed the demonic stranglehold the devil has on the church in this region!

But God may dry the brook, and remove the burden from me for this region. If and when He does so, I will be out of here like a cannon shot.

Being Out of God's Will

As one might imagine, I could have had an easier road going somewhere else, exploiting the supernatural signs, prostituting my musical gifts, etc. Turn on your television and you can watch many who are getting rich doing that. I could have done way better than this, at least financially. But how much sacrifice is it worth to remain in God's will? 

Being out of God's will is an unacceptable state of existence for me. I've made too many trips to the emergency room, with the life of someone I loved hanging in the balance, to willfully risk being out of God's will. Spiritual authority is one of the collateral benefits of obedience to God. That's one reason the devil tries to lure us into disobedience; is so that like Adam we can cede some of our incidental authority to him and his forces.

In one of my lowest moments of discouragement I wrote an old friend, and fellow preacher in South Florida. He walks in a unique level of power in the Holy Spirit. He is a fellow Miami native who returned to re-settle in South Florida. He, his wife, and staff stood with us through the worst of the storm, and never once faltered. To read a larger compilation of excerpts from the letter, click the title here: "Where I thought I'd Be". The excerpt below is my conclusion of that letter. It shows how I was in a dark valley of despair. This letter was a turning point in my exit from the "Valley of the Shadow of Death". It was written bluntly, as if we were discussing it over coffee, face to face. I hope it will strengthen and encourage anyone trapped in that same valley. In hindsight, I can see the Lord's footprints right next to mine, every step of the way through and beyond that dark valley. We may post the unabridged version of the letter at some future date.

I ended that letter with the following:

As I write this letter, I am now in my sixties, and I reflect over the years. When I moved here, I envisioned myself being at a place today vastly different from where I am. My plan was to have a 30+ year old church that had given birth to dozens of baby churches, with scores of grand, and great grand-baby churches. I was on fire about aggressive evangelism.

I dreamed of having a congregation today that on Sunday mornings at least half would have their Greek texts open following and checking my teaching. I planned to teach them basic Koine Greek, Hermeno-exegesis, Ante Nicene History, Demonology, Bible based Deliverance, true Holy Spirit Baptism, hearing God's voice, walking in the supernatural, trying the spirits, and everything else I knew.

I committed to God that when the congregation could sustain us, I would devote up to 6-hours each weekday to prayer and study. Having done that, I knew when I stood at the pulpit I'd have something to say worth hearing.

But gossip, judging, and maligning worked their destruction. The venom from a viper's tongue is just as deadly, whether it strikes from a pulpit, a pew, a phone, or a dinner-table!

These bionic believers called my hard earned scholarship “head knowledge”. In spite of any efforts to rebut, being so out-numbered, the critics prevailed. They are all without excuse. As I taught them back then, so I shared with Copeland in June, 1995.

ANY Orthodox Jew who feels called to devote their life to study Torah, can be supported for life by the community. Because to the Orthodox Jew, studying Torah is the most important thing they can do with their life.

ANY Muslim who feels called to devote their life to study the Koran, can be supported for life by the community. Because Muslims believe studying the Koran is one of the most important things they can do with their life.

But as a Christian minister, I wanted to study our scriptures, and then teach them to teach others, to help build The Kingdom. And these hyper-spiritual giants around here responded by treating me like I was an itinerant peddler, hawking some miracle elixir in an old west medicine show.

The bottom line is, the vast majority of American Christians do not hold our scriptures at the level of importance to which Muslims hold their Koran, and Orthodox Jews hold their Torah.

That is especially true of charismatic church folks in this region. Regardless of what they may say to the contrary, look at what they do! Look at their reckless interpolations of the scriptures. Look at how they treat those who work hard to apply scholarship and integrity to the study of scripture. They hurl perjorative phrases like labeling "scholarship" as "head knowledge", and "seminary" as "cemetery". If Charismatic Christians here had really cared about scriptural integrity, they should've put their money where their mouths were. We did!

As you know, recently John MacArthur brought the integrity of the Charismatic Movement into question. I found much of what he averred to be over the top. But some of it I welcomed because it was warranted. One warranted issue he cited was the lack of “self policing”. He asked why someone from within had not already cried out against the heresies and abuses, and called for Biblical correction. He asked why it fell to an outsider like him.

My response is simple. Just look at what they did to me. Anyone who dares to  question the status quo, or challenge the powers that be within the movement, runs the risk of being ruined, just like me. I remember crying out for change on my radio broadcasts on WLAC and WNQM in the early 1980s. I warned against defiling the church with politics, and its destiny of failure. I declared that they could elect Hal Lindsey as president and it would not save this country! (Hal had been recently named New York Times Author of the Decade for the 1970s). I screamed out that the only hope for America was for the Church of Jesus Christ to repent for abandoning her first love, and to return to doing her first works! 

I exposed how some ministries were buying cheap imported cassette tapes for less than 45 cents each; loading them with teachings on healing, prosperity, and deliverance; then targeting the sick, the poor, and the demonically oppressed desperately seeking help and relief; then charging the nearly 2,400% hyper-inflated price of $10.00 each. I pointed out how there were laws protecting citizens from con-artists, selling desperate people in adverse circumstances, plastic jugs containing water, for $10.00 a gallon. Yet  some ministries were doing the very same kind of thing. Selling equally desperate people in adverse circumstances, plastic cassette tapes they claimed were filled with the Water of Life, for $10.00, and doing so with immunity. 

So I screamed out that any church/ministry who continued to function as a "for profit" entity, and who was not substantially engaged in expository teaching, evangelization, and helping the poor and disadvantaged, they should lose their tax exempt status.  

Apparently some people were offended.  Because before long, I was off the air, no longer funded, until at last my voice went all but silent. Can you imagine Spirit Filled believers being so offended and responding so destructively to an honest and truthful word of correction? It showed where their hearts were.

Time is proving that I was correct, and the powers that got me expelled from radio will answer for what they did at the judgment. Just wait and see what else happens to prove my prophetic words correct. As I have proclaimed for nearly five decades, "...time is a true prophet's best friend, and a false prophet's worst nightmare...." The best is yet to come!

But what a waste of our sacrifice, gifts, talents, and so many precious years. What a terrible unnecessary price we paid. How sad.

I could serve as 'Exhibit A' to make the case that regardless of how big you dream, how hard you try, and how long you endure, sometimes things still don't turn out the way you planned; no matter how noble or sacred your cause. A city can harden its heart and determine to be your Nazareth. If they could do it to Jesus, they can do it to anyone!

Sometimes I do get discouraged and the devil tells me it's all been a waste. It's true, there HAS been too much sacrifice, endurance, and hard work. Honestly, the fruit HAS NOT been commensurate with the sacrifice. But when I resist the devil, he flees. Then I must confess God's truth by audible declaration to the seen world and the unseen world, that doing God's will is NEVER a waste. When God spoke through Elisha the prophet to dig deep ditches throughout the valley, it was not irrational, nor was it a waste. Time proved it would have been irrational, foolish, even suicidal to not dig those ditches. God knew something the ditch diggers didn't know. So He spoke through His prophet. If we trust God and obey His commands, no matter how foolish or outrageous they may appear to be, He will turn our wasted years into treasure. He's done it for me countless times throughout my life. Only He can restore the years the devour has consumed.

Finally, regardless of how it may appear I am not bitter, I'm just heartbroken. Nor do I blame every church goer for my adversity. I blame the power of darkness! God will judge the role any brethren may have played; and believe me many did play starring roles in this drama.

But the emotions I feel today are more like what I felt for a prison inmate who was recently cleared by DNA. He was wrongly convicted by an over-zealous prosecutor, using scant evidence, to prove a despotic theory, to a racially prejudiced jury, on trumped up charges, in a fragmented case. Like me, this innocent man lost 30 of the best years of his life unjustly, except his was by unjust incarceration. I think of all the opportunities that were stolen from him, and the shame and scorn imposed upon him and his family. All the loved ones now departed, and years of memories he should have been able to make with them, are all now gone.

His preventable injustice was imposed upon him by the state; ours was imposed upon us by the wagging tongues of church folks.

Like him, I rejoice in our anticipated victory and freedom, yet mourn for the loss of our 30+ years, which now appears a wasteland, the broken dreams, and all the loss. Like his, our loss wasn't necessary, it was preventable. It was caused by unbridled tongues, some intentionally, most just recklessly. When someone steals your property he has robbed you. When he steals your time or disparages your name, he has killed a sacred part of who you are, and your very life.

There is nothing in me worthy of boasting. But anyone who examines my spiritual record will know two things about me: scripturally, I am not a novice, and I know when the Holy Spirit is speaking to me. My writings, and the scores of prophecies fulfilled with 100% accuracy substantiate that. Unquestionably, God has vindicated me with supernatural signs, repeatedly over six decades.

In fashioning this letter, I have tried to be cautious, measured, and deliberate. I know if I have lied, misled, or even exaggerated my account of these events, I will account to Him for that, both in this life and at the judgment.

Yet, and for all that I still keep coming back for more. I still have a heart to minister here. Not because this region deserves it, but because this is my calling. He sent me here. One of these days these people will know the anointing and ministry they've soundly rejected, was really from God. But my burden for this city, even this region still remains. He put that in me. Until He removes that burden from me, I plan to stay. But I must confess, I am growing very weary.

Brother, you know I'm not one who slings phrases around like 'Thus Saith the Lord....', 'God told me this....', 'The Lord Showed me that....', etc. You also know that just because it hasn’t worked out doesn't mean I missed God's will by coming here. Jesus was soundly rejected at Nazareth. If today's critics and analysts examined the Nazareth campaign solely on the merits, using today's standard of success, determined not to consider the Lord Jesus Christ was the central figure, they would likely conclude Nazareth was a failure. But we know it was not a failure by God's standard; and Jesus didn't miss the Father's will by going there. Against all the critics I remain steadfast, God sent me here.

Betwixt Two

As I stated, if I had been the person critics obviously portrayed me as over these decades, I would have never survived. Otherwise, when the devil sifted us like wheat, we would have fainted. 

And I'm no more boasting about my supernatural experiences than Paul was boasting of his. Because as with Paul, I had nothing to do with receiving them, the Lord did it all. But I understand Paul's being “Betwixt Two”. I have only shared this once, or maybe twice because it is intensely personal and private. But this is how I see being “Betwixt Two”: 

I'm living in a rat infested slum (this world) while my mansion is being prepared (in heaven). When my mansion is ready, why on earth would I fight to remain living in the rat infested slum? Only someone who doesn't believe there really is a mansion over there, would be that foolish.

Therefore, I AM betwixt two; between the indescribable glory of being with Him there; and finishing my course here, and my wife still desperately needing me here. Brother, I am a witness it is so beautiful in His Shekinah presence there. But you and I know she deserves better than this. When I see her suffer, it's hard to keep turning the other cheek, it's hard to keep forgiving those who wound us. It is especially difficult forgiving those who minimize our suffering, infer we brought this upon ourselves, suggest this was all our fault, or worse, say we did this to ourselves merely seeking attention.

Then to top it all off, there are the Breitbarters. Imagine an attorney using his superior position over me in a law office, to coerce me into sharing private experiences. Then feigning an interest in the spirituals, to lure me into a series of conversations discussing a controversial subject. Then using his position as an inducement to drag me into sharing personal experiences with family, and other law office relationships. Then repeatedly steering the conversations into issues involving colleagues on Music Row, and ministry relationships. All the foregoing matters had been resolved more than two decades earlier. Feeling uncomfortable with his invasive questioning, I asked him if he could guarantee attorney client level priviledge. Then he assured me of lawyer-client privilege. Yet the whole time he was secretly recording all of it. Then parties collude to take segments from recordings of my iterating what were temptations in my mind, that never proceeded beyond imagination, and then merge them with utterances of literal statements and prayers I actually made, creating a compilation of phrases purposely assembled to make them say something vastly different than what I actually said or meant. Then distributing those artfully excerpted portions out of context. I wonder how anyone could intentionally set out to destroy me like that; knowing what all we've been through, and how hard we've worked to recover. It's difficult to believe anyone is that cold hearted and evil; yet someone was. And they're still hiding like roaches inside a darkened wall cavity. 

Let me be clear, this is regarding issues of conflict with others, some of whom appeared to act in ways that tended to sabotage my ministry, career, etc. And then what my reactions were; what I thought to do in my mind, what I prayed in anger and later repented of, and what I prayed that I left to stand. And, my account of the time-table of the offenses, reactions of the parties, and God's responses. That's it in a nutshell.

In other words, they did to me what Breitbart did to our sister in Christ Jesus, Shirley Sherrod. If you Google Breitbart/Sherrod, you'll see what I mean by that.

If they had seen what I have witnessed when the Lord does warfare, they would tremble at their future. Anyone who knows my full testimony knows what I mean. How many has He struck, and how many has He removed from their place for coming against His servant since this "Hands of Fire" anointing came? Recently, while praying about this I heard something in the spirit say "...the number is now over fifty...." That may have been the Lord revealing how many were removed. But  I am confident at least that many more have been profoundly stricken, physically and financially. And it was not at all because of my prayers, but because of His promise. Sometimes, I didn't even know anything had been done to me until they were stricken; and I observed the trail of the serpent leading back to them. He will defend me in His zeal. And that IS

"Thus Saith the Lord"!

"Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ might rest upon me."

2 Corinthians 12:9.

"The Spirit and the Bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come."

Revelation 21:17 . 

"Even so, come, Lord Jesus!"

Revelation 22:20.



- GERRY PHILLIPS - 1955-2015